Deal with the devil

"It ain't right.

I had my day already. When the Stormcrow were captain, or Shaulk the bloody, things were right. Enough men, enough engineers, enough magic to bleed our enemies. Now we got nothing what will serve, no planners, no eyes, and no gnomes to back us. I ain't a captain, never were, and this is what comes of handing lordship over to a sergeant too old to know what's best. Ennis and Matron still done nothin, so now the kids is forced to call the shots as best they can.

So far, they ain't been wrong. They seen to the countryside around, recruitin' elves and green warders and whatnot. They made it back from bein' captured by bandits, barghests, an even Heartwood Rot, and there ain't none that went worse than him. There's still trouble out there, but they done their dooty. The Long Snakes are on the move, and they're being supplied or led by these snakey Yuan-ti. That prolly means they ain't going to do the usual thing and try to batter us down, so even with the warning we got, we needin' to be watchful fer new tricks.

Even so, we're still too skinny on the ground. Half-starved villagers will be easy meat for barbarians and their pals. So now we got to shake hands with the devil, as it were. Downstairs we went; Mazzarbul forced me to a dark deal, but I done my dooty, as I always done. Shaulk allus said you got to save the most you can by any means you can... I jus wish the price weren't so high. Still, with the new captain's help, we got a reasonable chance. Ain't nothin that'll come at us from below, and anyone coming at night is in fer a shock. Hah!

And now we wait. We don't even got enough men to mount a proper watch and form work parties. That Elfy druid sent a clutch of shooters, but they ain't enough to make much difference. We got arms and armour aplenty, but not enough seasoned hands to hold them. We're in it deep fer sure, unless these kids can pull our asses outta the fire again."

-Old Gont, former sergeant and town leader



Selected highlights:

• Vampires with frickin' lasers
• Dire daschund = fearsome opponent with a gas attack
• Civlis almost gets his Elf status revoked for conduct unbecoming the master race
• "Wait a moment... with prompting, Krieger remembers to turn and critically chop the druid behind him into bits."
• "Yay, I'm useful!" Baezel